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Kung Fu Panda or Fat Ichiro?

with 4 comments

To be Kung Fu Panda or Fat Ichiro: that is the question.

So it seems like San Francisco’s catcher/first baseman/third baseman Pablo Sandoval is for real. He is currently fifth in the National League with a .335 average and 10th in doubles and hits. Even though he’s swinging at mostly everything, Sandoval’s improved in almost every offensive category this season, making his spectacular 2008 call-up look like anything but a fluke.

But perhaps the best part about Sandoval is that he’s got cheeks that would make any grandma giggle in delight and he’s got a paunch the size of the Giant’s fan base. He’s cute in a no-homo, teddy bear/baby/fat person/kitten kind of way.

Fans in the bay area have taken to calling the 5’11”, 245 pounder “Kung Fu Panda,” based on his fleet footed fielding and likeness to the protagonist in the movie of the same name. When you really take the time to absorb it, the likeness is uncanny.

Happy, happy, joy, joy.Douchebag Panda.

But there’s another nickname slowly gaining steam that I just might prefer.

Fat Ichiro.

Started by someone at McCovey Chronicles, the nickname is much more suitable for Sandoval. He’s a fat guy who can hit and field with the best of ’em. You don’t need to see a picture to understand it. It’s short, simple, and all-encompassing.

The only thing left to do is buy the jersey.

Coming soon to a store near you.

4 Responses

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  1. I like how “Panda” is also sort of a combination of his first and last name:

    Pablo + Sando = Panda.

    Plus, calling him fat is just rude, and I don’t want him to have a nickname that forever puts him in the shadow of another player. And, he has power, unlike that other player.

    Panda just works! He looks like one, its practically his name anyway, and both are lovable and awesome.

    And, a teammate gave him the nickname Kung Fu Panda, so you gotta imagine that its already become his nickname in the locker room. No room left for debate.


    July 4, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    • Even though I may prefer Fat Ichiro, I have no qualms calling him Kung Fu Panda.

      He always looks like he’s half asleep which gives him black Panda like eyes. And he’s chubby. I am also pretty sure he has paws.

      Fine, Kung Fu Panda it is.


      July 4, 2009 at 4:17 pm

  2. I just call him Pablo Sandoval and the other guy is “Skinny Sandoval”.


    August 18, 2009 at 1:42 am

  3. I just needed to say that I found your site via Goolge and I am glad I did. Keep up the good work and I will make sure to bookmark you for when I have more free time away from the books. Thanks again!

    Bernadette Panama

    February 2, 2010 at 8:38 pm

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