Blogging About Baseball

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Ken Griffey Jr. out with “inflamed colon.”

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There are lots of strange baseball injuries.

Sammy Sosa was once held out of a game because he hurt himself after a particularly violent sneeze. Detroit Tiger’s pitcher Joel Zumaya missed three games of the 2006 American League Championship Series because he hurt himself playing Guitar Hero. John Smoltz missed a game after he burnt himself while ironing the shirt he was wearing. Think about that one.

Ken Griffey Jr. is no stranger to injury. Everyone knows about the usual ones: the back, the knee, the general old man things. But chances are, you don’t know about these…

Griffey’s been held out of games after he hurt himself lifting boxes. He’s been removed from a game and consequently missed a game after his protective cup slipped and pinched his testicle. In the famous Simpson’s episode Homer At the Bat, he missed the big game due to an affliction known simply as gigantism, a condition Barry Bonds acquired in real life.

"I gotta pooooooop!"

Today, Griffey is sidelined with what the Mariners call an “inflamed colon.” With teams coming up with all kinds of euphemisms for injuries these days, one’s left wondering if it’s a real problem.

What I’m trying to say is this: Is Ken Griffey Jr. really a half a step from Depends, or is he simply suffering from a mean case of mud butt?


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